Focusing on the good

Several years ago, a journalist was doing a story on Ruth and Billy Graham. They said, "What was it like for your husband to be gone so much ... one time up to seven months?

Ruth Graham replied: "Five months with Billy is better than twelve months with any other man." She focused on the good. She could have said, "You know he's gone all the time and he doesn't care about me." She focused on the good.

Sometimes the things that attract us to each other are the things that create the greatest stresses. In dating opposites attract; in marriage opposites attack. The very thing that attracted you before marriage is the very thing that repels you after you are married.

For example, I am intense. Patty often says, "Give it a break. Let your mind rest." I am driven. I am punctual. When I was a kid, I put my books at the bus stop thirty minutes before the bus came so I could be first in line.

Patty on the other hand is laid back. The bus would have to blow the horn to get her out of the house. She gets it honest though. She comes from a long line of laid-back people. They are calm. They never get in a hurry. They embrace every moment and chew every bite. They can make a fast food meal last into the afternoon.

When we got married, my world was turned upside down. I've never been late. Now, I am never early. We have both grown in this area, but I have to say that I would rather be late with her than be early with anyone else. Every relationship has its positives and negatives. What would happen if you started focusing on the good and not the bad? If you started concentrating on the good, then you may be surprised at how good it could be.